I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it.
Recently, I had an incredible conversation with my best friend, Bean, on the phone.
And it really got me thinking about some things…It’s been almost a week since we last talked, but our conversation has still stuck with me. Per usual, we both got carried away and ended up talking for two hours. And I loved every minute of it. As we usually do during our phone calls, we get to a point in our conversation where we ask our typical question,
“So, any love updates?”
She updated me on all the latest happenings with her boyfriend. While I updated her on the single life that I’ve been livin’. As we continued to go back and forth talking about love and relationships and all that girly lovey-dovey stuff…at one point in the conversation, I just blurted out:
“I know I’m not in love with a guy right now… But I’m so in love right now. I’m so in love with my life, and so in love with all the people in it. And even more than that… I’m actually in love with God.”
It was then that I realized that I have said the words, “I love you God” many many many times before. But hardly had I ever spoken the intimate words, “I’m so in love with you, God.” For me, there’s a bit of a difference there. I used to just love what I knew/heard about God, but now that I’ve gotten to actually know Him for myself..it’s different…He is mine and I am his. And I’m in love with him.
I know all this may seem silly and ridiculous…I know this because I used to straight up laugh and be confused at people who professed their intimate love and affection to an “inanimate” higher being or dude in the sky…Before, I just didn’t get it. But now, slowly, I feel like I’m starting to get it. He’s starting to show me.
“No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it–What God has arranged for those who love him. But you’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.” 1 Corinthians 2:8-10
Trust me on this…
If you want to know Him, see Him, understand Him, be blessed by Him or just feel Him.
Just tell Him.
Seek and you will find.
He made you and He wants you.
He is our father. We are his children.
For years we’ve wandered and turned our backs on Him.
And He desperately and jealously wants us to come back to Him.
We’ve chosen to ignore him so we could live a life that’s more fun or more of what we want.
But He has something so much better for us….
He’s offering us the best gift we’ve ever been given…
So, what are we waiting for?
Pray dangerously. I dare you.
Once again, I’m daring whoever is reading this to pray a dangerous prayer with me.
A prayer to get to know Him, grow in Him, feel Him and understand Him like never before.
Essentially a prayer for Him to change your heart and your life. This time last year, I prayed that exact prayer, and things have never been the same. In the best way possible. While, at times, it has been the absolute hardest year of my life..it most definitely has been the greatest year of my life.
Making it “official”.
This spring break while I was in Belize, on April 13th, I got baptized and got the chance to formally say “I do” to my main man. It was absolutely beautiful. And it will forever be one of the greatest moments of my life. It definitely will rank right on up there with my wedding day. Because, for me, that day was a lot like a wedding. I just LOVE comparing baptisms to weddings. Because it just paints up the most beautiful illustration in my mind. I think some of you might be able to “feel me” on this one… One of my guilty pleasures is watching wedding videos on Vimeo. I don’t know what it is…there is just something so unbelievably cute and irresistible about watching those real-life “crazy in love” couples.
Like these gems! 2 of my current/all-time favorite wedding videos:
https://vimeo.com/9070672: Josh + Jess
https://vimeo.com/29285965: Jason + Victoria
Ok now that you watched those and died….Come back to me for a second. Whenever I watch those videos, I don’t know if you’re like me…but I become a bit jealous because I want to have a love like that. I find myself thinking, “I want someone to love me like that… I want someone to be that stinkin’ head over heals in love with me like that…” Well, the truth is.. God willing..that day might come for me.
*But if it doesn’t, I’ve already made peace with becoming a crazy pug lady who has like 10 baby pugs and lives by the mantra, “no regrets (or men), just pugs…But as I was saying, that day might come when I’ll marry a man that will love me better than I ever would’ve imagined and more than I will ever deserve. He’ll love me a lot like Jesus does. But even though he’ll love me better than anyone else on this earth, He’ll never be able to take the place of my first love. Why? ‘Cause my future husband might be an awesome future husband, but he’ll be an awful Savior. He can’t take the place of my Savior. And it’s not fair of me to expect him to even come close to doing/being like that. My first love has it all. He has given me all that I have. And He alone is enough. In fact, it is my first love who will give me (possibly) my second love in the first place. You confused? I am…Hahaha… The point is, if you have a relationship with Him, you’re already in the greatest relationship in the world. You’ve already found the greatest love that there is. And maybe just maybe, one day He’ll give you a guy who will get to remind you of your “first love” ever single day for the rest of your life…so for me, even if I never find that kind of “Vimeo Wedding” kind of love with somebody… I’ve already found a love that is better. ‘Cause even if I never say “I do” to some stud of a man, I’ve already said “I do” to the man.
And that’s an inseparable relationship that will remain–always. For better or worse.
Baptism + Marriage
Here is another cool little illustration that I stumbled across that helps solidify this marriage/baptism thingy-ma-bob analogy: Marriage is the holy union of a physical relationship; baptism is a holy union of a spiritual relationship. At one point in their life they were introduced to God. They were intrigued. Over time they got to know God a bit and they started dating God – that is, they would go to church once a week or so, but when they went home, God stayed at church. But as they continued to date God, they grew more in love with God, until they found that they didn’t want to be apart from God any longer. They wanted God to live with them and to be with them always – not just on Sundays. God’s love for them filled their heart and it changed them. Baptism is like marriage, but in this case we are not making a commitment to another person, but to God.”
Anyways…
So call me crazy but I’m in love.
While things in my life aren’t perfect.. and I continue to struggle and fall short in some way daily.
I’m in love with my life. I’m in love with my best friends, new friends, old friends, family, and even people I’ve never met. I’m in love with the wild nights, long talks, painful laughs, awkward struggles, games of odds, crazy adventures, quiet moments, nights I stay in, standard 5 cups of green tea a day, discovering more about life and love from my Bible than any other book I’ve ever read… I’m in love with it all. And it is all a gift. A precious gift from Him. I’ve done nothing. And I’m so forever thankful to Him.
Everything is already yours as a gift–the world, life, death, the present, the future- all of it is yours, and you are privileged to be in union with Christ, who is in union with God.
“You realize, don’t you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? No one will get by with vandalizing God’s temple, you can be sure of that. God’s temple is sacred– and you, remember, are the temple. Don’t fool yourself. Don’t think that you can be wise merely by being up-to-date with the times. Be God’s fool–that’s the path to true wisdom. What the world calls smart, God calls stupid. It’s written in Scripture,”He exposes the chicanery of the chic. The Master sees through the smoke screens of the know-it-alls. I don’t want to hear any of you bragging about yourself or anyone else.” 1 Corinthians 3: 16-23
So.. sorry for my crazy ramblin’ (& typos)…but I guess that’s just what happens when you’re in love…you kinda get all scatterbrained, sound a bit crazy, and feel all over the place when you try to put words to the feelings that you’ve been feelin’…but I just had to let y’all know.
